Teeth ~ Okay, warnings up front. This movie, and this review, is not for the faint of heart, easily offended or shocked, or those with zero sense of humor. Teeth is a black horror comedy with strong sexual elements and horrific visuals. For many of you, there’s nothing to see here, move along, come back next time.
For everybody else, you’ve been warned.
Vagina dentata. For those of us high school Latin students, and maybe for some of the more learned out there, this is an impossible and very scary concept. Especially for the men. It literally means ‘vagina with teeth.’ I’m spelling it out, not to be gross, but because some folks might not get it. I know at least one dentist who didn’t and rented this movie only to be shocked out of her mind.
That’s what this black horror comedy is about. Vagina dentata, and a girl with the condition who grows up in the shadow of a nuclear reactor. Ironically she’s a believer in waiting until marriage, purity, and promise rings who is just starting to date. This is the subtle part, it gets graphic later.
Played by Jess Weixler, the acting goes between cardboard cut out and Emmy level. She’s excellent as a teenage girl but when she should be serious she looks like she’s about to giggle uncontrollably. John Hensley from “Nip/Tuck” is also in there as her creepy step brother, and as fans of that show know, creepy is what Hensley does best.
Teeth for the first forty-five minutes could be an after school special, but then the would-be boyfriend forces himself on her, and the hilarity and horror begins. And as I mentioned at the top of this review, it’s not for the faint of heart.
Now while just as ridiculous and graphic as One-Eyed Monster, another film in this vein (I am so so sorry), it never sinks to that level of silliness or crudity. Teeth, like most good horror movies, takes itself pretty seriously, despite the subject matter. Fun at some points, horrific at others, Teeth is definitely worth a look for distinguishing genre fans.