Category Archives: idiot parents
The Three Stooges ~ I love the Three Stooges. I grew up on the Three Stooges. Everybody loved the Stooges when I was a kid. We would all race home from school to see the shorts on local channel 29. We all loved them, and being a guy (it does seem to be a gender thing), I loved them a lot. And unfortunately I was also a casualty when parents groups shut them down in the early 1970s.
Like most kids, I was aware of the difference between fantasy and reality, and knew you didn’t try any of that stuff the Stooges do on TV. Unfortunately those nosy parents who always seem to have too much time on their hands first had the wonderful shorts of the Stooges edited down to almost nothing by taking out the perceived violence (and essentially the humor too), and then by removing them from the air completely. You bastards, you took my Stooges away.
Let’s face it, the 1970s was a very bad time for kids television. Parents had a lot of time apparently to ruin it for kids. They took our superheroes away, our Warner Bros. cartoons, our Little Rascals, and our Three Stooges. These were all too ‘violent.’ Heck, we knew the difference. And from then on, children’s television had to watered down, have a message at the end, be educational, and conflict had to be solved through thoughtful discussion rather than Batman punching the Joker, or Moe poking Larry. I’m still not sure about Larry, but trust me, the Joker needed a punch.
Fortunately the video age saved us all, or at least the Three Stooges from this terrible time. On video, we could see the shorts in their original form, uncut and unedited, and we could see what geniuses the Stooges truly were. Today, several cable networks show the shorts on a regular basis, and the Stooges are enjoying somewhat of a renaissance. And perhaps that is what has spawned this new movie, The Three Stooges.
When I first heard of the Farrelly brothers making a new Three Stooges movie I have to admit I cringed. These are the guys responsible for such masterpieces as Dumb and Dumber and There’s Something About Mary among others. Not that their work is bad, but even when it’s good, there is always some quantity of potty humor and slob comedy. Humor for ten year olds is what it is, and although I don’t want to think it – it’s the perfect team to return the Stooges to the big screen.
When I first saw the trailer, I was iffy, and as a Stooge fan, I was extremely wary. I am here today to say I have seen the film, and wow, I had no reason to worry, as a matter of fact, it was one of the funniest movies I have seen in a long time. I laughed until there were tears in my eyes. Yeah, baby, it’s that good.
The movie follows the boys from childhood into a Blues Brothers like plot of trying to raise money for their orphanage, and it’s done in three episodic segments stylized like the shorts of old. The new Stooges do wonderful jobs of imitation and homage. Many of the stunts, the effects, and even the gags are directly from the old shorts and done with respect and humor. The first two segments are flawless Stooges extended shorts. The third segment does move into French farce as well as slapstick, but that’s okay, I still dug it.
The nearly unrecognizable Sean Hayes as Larry, television veteran Chris Diamantopoulos as Moe (I’ll never be able to watch “24” with a straight face again, and Will Sasso from “Mad TV” as Curly are all stellar morons in the best sense possible. Jane Lynch, Jennifer Hudson and the cast of “Jersey Shore” are all terrific but for me, the movie is stolen by Larry David every time he appears on screen as Sister Mary-Mengele.
Yeah, I loved this, more than I should have, and more than I ever would have believed either. The only thing that brought it done was during the end credits when the Farrelly brothers appear on screen to show how stunts were done and to tell kids not to try this at home. It may have been done tongue in cheek, but it brought that original 1970s bad taste back into my mouth. Stupid parents groups. Leave the Stooges, any Stooges alone. Still, this newest edition of the Three Stooges is highly recommended, bring the kids, be prepared for a little potty humor, but mostly Stooges goodness.
Poor Peter Parker just can’t seem to catch a break these days. Even with a Broadway musical in the works with tunage by Bono and The Edge, and saving a kid in Bangkok, it seems everybody’s favorite wall-crawler is in trouble again – this time with idiot parents and illiterate librarians.
A Milliard, Nebraska mother is outraged that her six-year old son got a Spider-Man trade collection from his school library, specifically Amazing Spider-Man: Revelations Vol. 2 by J. Michael Straczynski and John Romita Jr., saw a drawing of a bikini-clad Mary Jane and it rotted his brain. And let’s not leave out the fact that the book is rated (as are most Marvel Comics) for ages 12 and up, so thumbs up to the librarian that gave the kid the book.
First off, it’s just a bikini, folks, and Mary Jane Watson/Parker/Whatever is one sexy fictional character, and John Romita Jr. is a helluva an artist, so I wouldn’t expect less. And let’s be frank, this could be much worse. Notice how the outraged mom doesn’t have a thing to say about the violence in the book. That must be okay for her precious child.
And of course no mention is made that at least this is a child who is not only reading, but actively using a library at age six. I think this is a triumph in itself and something any parent should be proud of. But then again, what do I know? I learned to read at barely the age of four… from those dreaded comic books.
Monsters Vs. Aliens ~ What starts off as B-movie homage ends with superhero sensibility in this surprising 3-D entry this weekend. Using templates from Attack of the 50 Foot Woman, The Creature from the Black Lagoon, The Fly, The Blob and even Mothra, this flick espouses the idea that monsters have been kept top secret by the government for decades, and when aliens attack, they are unleashed to save the world.
DreamWorks does it again, keeping up with the technology and with Disney/Pixar here, and even presents a new form of 3-D that’s better than anything that’s come before – and if you see it in IMAX, it’s just that much better. The voice cast is terrific, Reese Witherspoon and Stephen Colbert especially. This was one of the more fun flicks I’ve seen this year, recommended.
Hoodwinked ~ This computer-animated twist on the Little Red Riding Hood story wants so badly to be Shrek it hurts, yes, it literally hurts the viewer. It tries far too hard to be different and irreverent when it could have simply told the tale with a few clever in-jokes and modern music, but they just went for trying to one-up the big green ogre instead. Good for free or if nothing else is on.
Coraline ~ A very interesting and creepy fantasy from ‘one of the directors of Nightmare Before Christmas’ (not the one you think), and a lot of fun – for adults, and even then it might be a little scary. Hollywood seriously needs to bring more of the work of Neil Gaiman to the big screen. And I will never understand these parents who bring their kids to a movie just because it’s animated or has a child in it thinking it’s okay. Read about films before you go. The idiots who brought their infant children to the theatre for this one probably would do the same thing with The Omen or Fritz the Cat. Recommended, but not for kids.
There’s quite a controversy going on in the UK over a new Wii game called Wii Fit.
Apparently in measuring a child’s BMI (Body Mass Index) it called that child “fat.” Never mind that the game is not for kids, nor designed with kids in mind, the poor girl has apparently suffered severe emotional damage from the inanimate game machine because of it.
I’m left wondering however how the parents will react if another child ever hurls an insult at their daughter. Will they sue? Demand reparations? Ask that the guilty child have a warning tattooed to his or her forehead, or worse yet, be taken out of society?