Category Archives: instructions

The Lego Pirates

I love Lego. It was a toy I didn’t have as a child so I have always had a fascination with as an adult. And now that recently Lego has been putting out Lego versions of superheroes, I love them more. I really groove on having my own Lego versions of the Justice League and the Avengers.

That said, I think having special Batman, Avengers, Star Wars, Pirates of the Caribbean, and all the other sets for Lego kinda takes some of the imagination play away from the kids. Especially when a set is supposed to be put together a certain way, rather than letting the kid built what he or she wants, ya know?

Soapbox time over. Lego also seems to be a major force in videogames. Heck, one of the first games I reviewed here was a Lego game. Folks seem to like using Lego-ized characters in videogames. This time we have Disney’s Pirate franchise in Lego Pirates of the Caribbean. The animatics in the opening of the game are recreations of many moments from the movies done Lego animation style. The game itself however is something else.

The demo I downloaded from the PlayStation Store wouldn’t let me free play until I completed the story mode. That was disappointing. And once I hit start, there were more movie recreations in Lego style. There was more TV watching here than actual game playing.

When finally I was allowed to play, there was more disappointment. Without an instruction manual (good luck finding one online, PS seems dead set against supplying instructions), I was at a loss as to what to do. I collected coins Mario style but then found it impossible to leave the room I started in. I suppose I’ll have to wait for one of my gaming guru friends to come over. At least I can play with my Lego Avengers until then…

Trapped Like a Cat in a Box

Blade Kitten was one of the first free demos I downloaded from the PlayStation Store. Cool name, cool anime look, and it seemed like it would be fun. Somehow, I just never got around to trying it out. Once I did, I was very happy I downloaded it… until I got trapped.

First of all, Blade Kitten is something very different in the videogame world. It’s not based on an anime, or a comic book, or even an animated movie or TV series – it’s based on a webcomic. I was pleased and surprised too. The webcomic (and the game), coincidentally by game designer Steve Stamatiadis, follows the anime adventures of Kit Ballard, and half-cat, half-human bounty hunter, as she pursues her prey, troublemaker Terra-Li on the artificial planet called Hollow Wish.

I rushed into it blindly, with some tutorial help showing and telling what to do, but markedly, as usual, with zero instructions. I was actually doing well, taking names and kicking ass, and then I got cocky. I somehow made my way past a laser beam and into a box that I couldn’t get out of. So for an undetermined amount of time I mashed buttons, yelled at the screen, and listened to the catchy dance rock music until I gave up.

Maybe I’ll go back and try again, or play from the start and just avoid this part, but I think I will go back. I had fun. Or maybe I’ll have Crystal, or Jeff, or Ray get me past this part. Either way, this was a very good download. And if you want to know more about Blade Kitten in all its various forms, the official website is here.

Gamer Lingo

Okay, I’ve been doing this for a while now, and I’m actually starting to get my groove down with all this gaming stuff. I have even learned some of the lingo of the genre. I have even created a term or two of my own. These aren’t anything new, but they were new to me. Here are a few examples.

PVP – this one is easy, even though I wouldn’t have known what it was a few months ago. It means ‘player vs. player,’ like in a fight game like Street Fighter or Mortal Kombat. You get to play against your friend without that annoying turn wait thing.

Newb – this is sooo me, someone who doesn’t know anything about videogames, or a particular videogame.

Leet – pretty much, this is the opposite of a newb. This is someone who is very good at a videogame or videogames.

Pwn – this is what leets typically do to newbs. If you get your ass handed to you in a videogame, you have been ‘pwned.’ It comes from the common typo of hitting the P instead of the O because they are so close on the keyboard.

Kill Move – the stupid or clever victory dance of sorts a character does when they have beaten their opponent. It can range anywhere from jumping up and down to teabagging the opponent. Whatever makes one happy, I suppose.

RTFM – this is one that has been directed at me from several people, and even friends, since starting this blog. It’s an acronym that stands for “Read The F*cking Manual.” Yeah, it’s a semi-nice way of telling me that I’m an idiot. I maintain the manuals are too long, too confusing, and assume you have years of experience playing these games.

Turn Wait – this is when you are stupid enough to let someone much better than you play a game first, before your turn. There’s also Turn Wait Bastard, which would be the person who’s better than you. They also don’t have to go first. You could have your turn, then they go, then you go to bed.

The Glenn Method – this is a controller technique, named after me, that means frantically hitting all the buttons, triggers and joysticks on the controllers until something happens – hopefully something good. Sometimes this works, sometimes it doesn’t. I’m sticking with it.

Got any other words you’d like to teach the Non-Gamer? Let me know. I am always ready to learn, unless it means I have to read one of those instruction manuals…