Category Archives: national treasure

October Film Reviews

Alien Vs. Predator: Requiem ~ Frankenstein Meets the Wolfman, King Kong Vs. Godzilla, Freddy Vs. Jason, and even this movie’s predecessor – the monster team-up/fight is a staple of cinema horror fantasy, heck, Godzilla has even made a career of it. This type of event movie is almost a surefire hit, especially considering the combination of two blockbuster franchises like Alien and Predator. This sequel just goes to show it can miss, and miss bad. The special effects and built-in audience are already there, all that is needed is a good story and good characters – and that is where AVP: R fails. When the monsters are introduced before any human characters a precedent is set; the human cast is made secondary. And that secondary cast, rather than a strong team of adventure templates like in the first AVP, is typical slasher flick fodder, and that’s just not how it should be done with this specific facet of the genre. Even when this flick attempts to be what it should it fails in the attempt. As promising as it could have been, don’t bother with this one.

Swing Vote ~ What could have been a clever political satire or a touching father/daughter drama ends up simply being yet another preachy whiny Kevin Costner flick. Sigh. It has its moments, but wait for free TV for this one.

Black Legion ~ Infamously known as Humphrey Bogart vs. the Ku Klux Klan, this underrated flick is a period piece that’s very telling of the era in which it was made. Bogie is excellent as the anti-hero Frank Taylor in this one that got an Oscar nom for veteran screenwriter Robert Lord. The best part of this DVD package however is the inclusion of a full afternoon at the movies – trailers, a newsreel, a cartoon, and the main feature. Great stuff.

Zombie Honeymoon ~ All things considered, not all that bad for a Z-grade zombie flick. It has its unintentionally funny moments, which are much better than the scripted ones. And it seems to me that a lot of the trouble in this flick could have been avoided had the zombie husband not been such a sloppy eater.

The Proud Family Movie ~ I’ve never seen “The Proud Family” TV series, so this was my first exposure and I have to say I was impressed. Yes, it did take a bit for me to get my mind right with an evil Dr. Washington Carver and cloned-from-peanuts super-soldiers, but I made it through. It’s actually quite a bit of fun, and the soundtrack’s not bad either.

National Treasure: Book of Secrets ~ The only thing worse than conspiracy theories are conspiracy theories that don’t make sense. The Lincoln conspiracy equals Mount Rushmore equals the lost city of gold? Riiight. While it tries very hard to be clever it’s just as predictable as it is improbable. It’s also about an hour too long. Some shining moments but on the whole, so not worth it.

The Affair ~ This early Spelling/Goldberg television production from 1973 is proof positive that even an amazing cast – in this case, real life married couple Robert Wagner and Natalie Wood, along with Bruce Davison – can’t save a bad script with inept direction. The possibly adlibbed, music-less scenes between Wagner and Wood are almost unbearable, as was her singing voice. Avoid this like the plague.

Who Is This Jerk And Where Has He Been?

Damn, I have a blog. I forgot all about it.

Movie reviews, huh? How about some random thoughts and snippets instead? Here goes…

National Treasure

Never film a movie in a major city if in the chase scenes you’re going to have characters go from one place to another that is nearly a mile away in seconds. Dumb dumb dumb, and I’m not even talking about the plot.


You know that feeling of having to throw up while you’re driving, and you know you really can’t throw up, so you you swallow what’s already in your mouth? Yep, that’s this film.

Lady Death

What if the animated Pax program “Greatest Heroes of the Bible” were done by horny thirteen year old boys obsessed with Dungeons and Dragons? That’s this film.

The Great Muppet Caper

Lots of great tributes to the old 1930s and 40s Hollywood musicals, some grin-worthy Muppet moments, not enough pig jokes, too much Charles Grodin and a special effects overload on Muppets riding bikes.

Maybe I’ll do more later…